Aaliyah would have been one today and celebrating with her brothers, now she's in heaven celebrating from up above as she looks down upon all of us. I've learned a lot about myself over the last year and have learned that there is no true formula or recipe in how to deal with grief. It can hit you like a freight train at any time and you learn how to adapt and live with it.
Time in my opinion does not make it better, you simply learn how to deal with grief so it does not paralyze you. I see her in her brothers, I see her in my dreams, I feel her every single moment of the day. I know she's with me but I won't lie, I long to hold her again in my arms and feel her tiny fingers touching my face. It makes me happy when I see fathers out with their daughters in public and I want to rush to them and tell them to take advantage of every opportunity they have with their child. However, there is that human part of me that wishes my baby girl was with me so that I could protect her and watch her grow into a beautiful young woman.
Please don't get me wrong, I feel so blessed to have these two beautiful boys in our life and what they have brought to our family. Aiden and Adley are absolutely amazing and their smiles alone can light up a room. Watching them grow over the past year and watching their personalities develop has been a true blessing. It's weird though at times you can tell they both look around as if something is amiss. Maybe as a parent I am over analyzing it, but it's a strong feeling that they simply know something is not complete. There are times when each of them looks above and starts to smile and I believe they can see their sister waving from above.
The kids were born at 9:15am, 9:17am, and 9:19am and today both of them starting at 9:15am simply started to cry. They had been fed and were content up until that point when they simply started to cry in a way that was uncharacteristic. It was as if they felt what Amber and I felt during those exact times.
As a family we've been lucky to have the support of our family and friends throughout this time and are better parents because of it.
Happy Birthday Aiden and Adley, watching you two grow has brought us so much joy and I have a feeling that it's going to continue being entertaining!!
Happy Birthday Aaliyah, I can picture you playing in heaven and laughing at your brothers, just know that you are always with us in everything that we do because you live in our hearts forever...
